How to know if you and your prospective partner are on the same path?
If I have anything to offer when it comes to marital advice, there is an obvious caveat: it comes from a place of transparent delinquency on the subject. I chew these matters over with other people, and between us we have collectively accumulated an impressive litany of failure and folly in the intimate: fornication, adultery, teenage pregnancy, divorce, abortion, adoption, single parenthood, LGBTQdom, porn, prostitution, rape, drugs, kink, sex cult, venereal disease, neglect, abuse, exhibitionism, self-harm, and addiction. So this comes from a place of wishing to save others our angst.
The matter has become more personally pressing for me as I have two adult daughters of eligible age, and the subject of men and relationships has entered the arena. They both can acknowledge and relate to the struggles I and their mother had — we have been apart for most of my offspring’s lives — and the conversations can admit nuance that includes a spiritual angle. My advice to my own children is simple: what matters is not “compatibility” with each other, but rather spiritual alignment, and specifically with divine will. The natural question posed to me was “so, how do you tell if you’re spiritually aligned with a prospective partner and the highest joint calling?”
That isn’t an easy thing to respond to off the cuff. It also requires locating the answer in the context of a spiritual war and eugenic genocide, which has included a full-blown Marxist cultural assault on the family and the man-woman bond. We live in a world of counterfeit money, counterfeit courts, counterfeit identities, counterfeit governments, counterfeit news, counterfeit medicine, counterfeit science, counterfeit churches, and counterfeit personalities. It should come as no surprise that counterfeit marriage is part and parcel of the great deception we have been subjected to. Just because something is normal doesn’t mean it is moral.
One of my essays with longevity that I keep returning to contrasts the standard “contractual” marriage with the ideal covenant one. One might expand on this, and mix it with colloquial representations of spiritual development, as follows:
- 1D marriage is rape or paedophilia, such as when a grown man in tribal culture takes a girl barely into womanhood and pretends there is a marital union resulting from sex and pregnancy. It is animalistic and denies at least one party agency and free will. Violence (physical, social, economic) forces them together.
- 2D marriage is a contract where the essence of it lies in a piece of paper, hence two-dimensional. It may be freely entered into, but the authority comes from the state and its legal enforcement mechanisms. The wedding ceremony is essentially a business deal between two families. Vows are the glue that bind the parties.
- 3D marriage is where the couple are compatible and conscious of the relationship as having a psychological dynamic and personal growth aspect. There is free will, but it is “two self-wills”. If there are relationship problems, it is something to “work on” via counselling. Mutual affection is the bond.
- 4D marriage is when you have a twin flame or soul mate, and there is a sense of greater purpose to the joining than the materialistic compatibility paradigm. There is a coming together as a team to attain spiritual outcomes that are beyond the individuals acting alone, but an element of self-will remains in choosing what to edify. Shared purpose holds the couple together.
- 5D marriage is divine union (i.e. covenant) in which both parties are fully in submission to divine will. Worldly authorities and familial approval become moot; the coupling’s authority is anchored in Creator, and the identification of the sole other made as your complement. God is the author of the love story here.
Specifically, the world of 2D/3D birth/berth certificates and maritime law requires rites and ritual that align to the contract paradigm. A covenant marriage — divine union — is not the same as the matrimony with vows. If it takes words and promises to hold you together, that is worldly, and it is not of Creator, unpopular as that opinion may be. God’s law states that truth and morality are for us to discern, not decide. When both parties accept that, and fully submit themselves to it as immutable reality, the door to divine union is opened. A wedding is a joining of body and soul — not a cake and fancy dress party.
It is rare for me to resort to Bible quotes in my work, as I tend to eschew religious texts for an audience that is largely secular, but Mark 10:9 states: “What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.” This is subtle as it doesn’t involve two self-willed people turning up in a moneychanger’s temple and insisting Creator blesses their desire to screw around. Where there is divine union, no man is capable of overcoming the power of the connection back to Source, not should he attempt to do so. What we call “divorce” is generally a contract change; the contract with the state isn’t rescinded, only modified.
As an aside, it is worth noting that these relationship paradigms align to different temporal scales. The 1D marriage subsists as long as the flesh can withstand the abuse. The 2D marriage is lifelong only on paper, as the contract governs any progeny or alimony. The 3D marriage is designed to persist until “death us do part”, but the self-will inevitably brings friction and disappointment. The 4D marriage begins to transcend a single lifetime, and the concept of a bloodline can emerge. The 5D marriage is anchored in the eternal realm, as by definition that divine is that which is invariant over time.
The time aspect leads us to a paradox of spiritual alignment and divine union. This highest ideal seems to occur when you are not looking to find a partner, and indeed you may initially resist the best outcome since it doesn’t fit your expectations or perceptions of what is desirable. If you are “hunting” for a partner, then at best it may take you to a person you are “compatible” with. Dating applications can do this in software, but it models worldly aspects; the spiritual is beyond its means. There is nothing wrong with allowing providence to operate through digital mechanisms, just it needs some wisdom to identify what the real draw is.
The “higher the vibe” of both parties, the less unprocessed shadow work there is, and the lower the risk of a trauma bond. We live in a fallen world, so each of us brings in generational curses and personal damage. What your mother/father approve of, or your siblings suggest as in your best interest, or your friends bitterly denounce… those can equally be projections of their own unhealed souls, as much as they may be valid advice. Being spiritually aligned means more than a single life event of conjugation; it is awareness of divine will in everything you do. Sometimes we only learn this with time and feedback from the world — “that definitely wasn’t divine as I suffered as a result”.
If you need to “decide to get married”, then by definition it is self-will. Divine will is instantaneous as well as eternal; it is a knowing, not a thinking. There is an intuitive connection to All That There Is, which we can do when we still our mind into no thought, and we can dialogue with Creator all of creation. Identifying the “voice of God” from the voice of yourself, our your parents, or your lover, or your priest/teacher/guru takes self-awareness and inner growth. Determining if you are spiritually aligned with your prospective partner means knowing yourself (and hence your unhealed parts and projections), knowing the other (and their trauma behaviours), and knowing the divine (that which is free from trauma).
The 3D coupling is prone to unconscious continuance of the same spiritual malaises, perpetuating the generational curses. The 4D partnership may have a purpose of you both overcoming past trauma, but it is still reactive to the historical abuse; 5D takes us outside of the need to be defined by past wrongs and hurts as we live in the eternal now. It eliminates the need to “work” on the relationship, as there is no idealised future state to “work towards”. Every decision is contextualised into whether it is divine will or not, and the essential patterns (for example of masculine and feminine roles) are predefined and non-negotiable.
This leads us to the joyful topic of sex. Again, we confront what seems like a paradox or even an apparent contradiction. “Conservatives” rail against sex before marriage and promiscuity, but that is because they are the most pro-sex people (and sexy, too). In a divine union, you should need a good mattress retailer in the neighbourhood, as you’re likely to wear them out faster than most people. The reason to wait is so you don’t over-commit, and have time to discover what the values of each person are, and discuss whether this is really divine will or something else. The goal is not to deny pleasure, but to delay gratification in order to gain lifelong sexual fulfilment, and bless your offspring likewise. It is unthinkable to deny the other affection in a divine union!
If you have doubts, need to ask, or engage in debate, then it is not a divine union, and self-will is involved. If either of you is religious, including part of a secular cult like Scientism™, then the best you can do it be spiritually aligned onto something fallen and worldly — as you will inevitably seek peer group or institutional approval. Marriage is not a meaningful concept in the context of same-sex relationships, in the same way that carriage is not a meaningful concept for a brick. It says nothing about the utility or value of bricks, just they aren’t things you can ride upon to get around; a category error.
As a last thought, a final paradox. You may discover the most about divine will and the sacredness of unions via stuck of its opposite: narcissistic abuse, both overt and covert. This is when one party worships themselves, and the other is merely a tool in their internal psychodrama of unhealed and unhealthy relating. Only a man or woman who have healthily detached from their own parents can enter into a divine union, otherwise they will endlessly act out their unconscious and unfinished childhood development. Divine union the pattern where we align by “looking up” while standing hand in hand, but the anti-pattern is all around is — with a high body count to show for it.
The parting message for the coming generations is that we are having to rebuild society from its atomic foundations of sex (not gender) and tribe. Please excuse the degeneracy of those who attempt to offer you counsel — we are not better, just older, and more hurt. Your job is to understand the light and dark aspects of divine masculine and divine feminine archetypes, and return to the templates given to us in the distant past that have been proven to deliver peace and prosperity. Matrimony emphasises the “death us do part”, but that’s the undersell. Spiritual alignment to the sacred is “forever and ever”. Be the progenitors of lasting bloodlines; aspire to more than mere fecund cohabitation.
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